fu** shi* nu*s

elflizard:

Best $1.85 I have ever spent.

(via zackisontumblr)

sherrocked:

My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other

(Source: amovible, via studip)

overlypolitebisexual:

"if you were polite and nice with your activism we’d listen" no you wouldn’t you fucking liars

(via foodnetwerk)

Nash Grier: *Slaughters 8 million people*

His Fans: Its your opinion. Leave him alone.

tupacabra:

*snapchats doctor* does this look infected 2 u

(via clamperl)

retroactiveeurydices:

oxheadandhorsefacearedead:

retroactiveeurydices:

koalatea:

i dont need a boyfriend i need 12 million dollars and a donut 

12 million dollars can be used to obtain many donuts.

explain how

money can be exchanged for goods and services

(via dw)

sassykardashian:

sassykardashian:

"haven’t spoken since 2 years" I WONDER WHY KEVHIN, I FUCKING WONDER WHY

sassykardashian:

sassykardashian:

"haven’t spoken since 2 years" I WONDER WHY KEVHIN, I FUCKING WONDER WHY

(Source: sassykardashian, via firefoxed)

supamuthafuckinvillain:

This makes me extremely content.

(Source: vinebox, via fancymadie)

uoa:

im gonna steal this baby someone hold
me back

(via firefoxed)

horror movie opening scene

white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.

white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.

white girl: you're just trying to scare me.

white boy: lmao

they continue walking for a few seconds

*white couple hears noise*

white girl: babe what that??

white boy: i'll go investigate

*leaves her alone*

*choking noises*

white girl: zack!!!

white boy: ha ha just kidding!

white girl: asshole!

white boy: im just playin babe

white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute

*playful kiss*

*things turn sexy*

*hear noise*

white boy: i'll go investigate

*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*

*maybe a thud*

white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!

*she walks and he dead*

white girl: ahhh!!

*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*

white girl: ahhh!!!

*white girl runs*

*dead end*

*hides*

*thinks she free n safe*

*guy catches her*

*cuts her*

*she dead*

opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

nickelbackthatassup:

no emoji in the world can replace the depth of :/

(via religiousmom)